Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

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FOR HER Self-shagging with a banana Walking to the supermarket 45 calories Peeling, inserting and shagging the banana 5 calories Spending ages trying get bits of semi-dissolved banana out of your twat 10 calories
TOTAL: 60 calories
15 FOR HIM Shagging - a prostitute Asking various women how much they charge before finding an actual prozzie 20 calories Explaining to her that your wife doesn’t understand you 10 calories Stopping half way through to see if you have enough cash to touch both nipples 20 calories
TOTAL: 50 calories
62 FOR HER Extra calorific benefits of shagging Losing your appetite at the mere thought of him seeing your love handles 200 calories Being shagged so hard it takes an extra effort just to walk for the next two days 100 calories Walking to your friend’s house to tell her about your sordid night 40 calories
TOTAL: 340 calories
113 FOR HER Shagging - a client Explaining the tariff 5 calories Listening to his bullshit about his wife not understanding him 5 calories Removing his hands from your breasts and explaining they’re optional extras 20 calories
TOTAL: 30 calories

Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

FOR HIM Shagging - a sheep Seducing it by wearing your favourite woolly jumper and talking knowledgeably about grass 20 calories Mounting it from behind while it’s still thinking about your comments on lawn upkeep 50 calories Running away from the jealous farmer 300 calories
TOTAL: 370 calories
68 FOR HER Preparing for a shag Trying on 15 different outfits, none of which disguise your extra pounds 20 calories Squeezing your arse into tiny trousers meant for a 10 year old 5 calories Taking it all off again now that you’ve seduced him 10 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
21 The shag haircut can look amazing on mature ladies. If you’re worried about your hair looking too wild, ask for side swept bangs which will help to soften up the choppy layers around your face. You can also ask for longer layers that fall just below your jawline to create a flattering shape while helping to balance out any areas that may be starting to thin. 19. Shag with Blonde Hair dozen free copies. Now, after literally minutes of in-depth study, you too can lose weight with a smile, just like the dead Nazis. FOR HIM Self-shagging with a porn mag Walking to the newsagent for a porn mag 40 calories Carrying home lots of computer mags to hide the porn mag 50 calories The actual hand shandy 35 calories
TOTAL: 125 calories
10FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Undoing her bra with one hand 5 calories Removing her arse from too-tight jeans with the help of some margarine and a team of firemen 20 calories Shaking hands with the firemen as they leave 5 calories
TOTAL: 30 calories
22 FOR HER Shagging - on the car bonnet Enjoying the feeling of the warm engine under your arse 5 calories Enjoying the feeling of the fresh night air on your twat 5 calories Helping him to straighten out the dent in the bonnet 100 calories
TOTAL: 110 calories
51 FOR HER Shagging - a desperate virgin Explaining what foreplay is for whilst holding him away from you 5 calories Enjoying a full 30 seconds of foreplay from him before he gets down to it 20 calories Enjoying a further 30 seconds of full-blown bonking before he explodes 40 calories
TOTAL: 65 calories
73 A long shag haircut is a great way to add movement and texture to your hair. The layers can be styled in a variety of ways, from messy beach waves to sleek and straight, making it a versatile style that can be worn for any occasion. A long shag haircut is also great for disguising thinning hair or adding volume to hair that is fine. 2. Short Shag Haircut

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Now, I normally wouldn’t, not at all, but considering how hard I’ll be working very soon, no harm in indulging in a few jammy dodgers. And a Victoria sponge. What the hell, I’ll just balance out with some savoury: dorritos with salasa. After all, I can afford to munch while I read, because, very soon I’m going to be shagging myself all the way slim. Phoar. FOR HIM Shagging - in the shower Getting the water temperature right 10 calories Soaping her up 10 calories Trying not to slip over while you’re slipping her one 80 calories
TOTAL: 100 calories
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Shag Yourself Slim

FOR HIM Finding a shag partner on holiday Holding your stomach in whilst walking along the beach looking for a suitable partner 40 calories Buying an ice-cream and sharing it with a stranger minus 200 calories Holding your stomach in even more 50 calories
TOTAL: minus 110 calories
18 FOR HER Shagging - a really fat bloke Undoing the long rope that’s holding up his trousers 5 calories Helping him locate his nob somewhere under his sagging stomach 20 calories Insisting that it’s probably better if you go on top 10 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
91 FOR HER Shagging - side by side Persuading him not to go to the pub just yet 5 calories Sliding close to him and wrapping your legs around him 10 calories Deciding it would have been better to make the effort to go on top in the first place 5 calories
TOTAL: 20 calories
99 FOR HIM Shagging - cyber sex Positioning your webcam so that your irresistible body can be seen by all those men pretending to be girls on the Internet 5 calories Spending many hours online trying to find a genuine bird to cyber-shag 10 calories Making do with a Thai ladyboy 30 calories
TOTAL: 45 calories
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Shag Slim Enjoyable Way - AbeBooks Shag Slim Enjoyable Way - AbeBooks

Layered shag haircuts are characterized by lots of volume and texture. This hairstyle can work well for women with any length of hair, but it looks particularly nice when there is some long layers added to the style. One of the best things about this hairstyle is that it can be styled in so many different ways. You can wear it curly, wavy, or straight, and you can also add some waves or curls with a curling iron if you want a more tousled look. You can also add some light hold hairspray if you want to keep the style in place all day long. 8. Choppy Shag Haircut FOR HIM Shagging - up the arse Persuading her you got the wrong hole by accident but now you’re there... 10 calories Giving her one right up there 70 calories Washing your nob, your duvet, your pillowcases and sheets...twice. 20 calories
TOTAL: 100 calories
64 FOR HIM Shagging - two birds Almost creaming your pants when you realise two birds are prepared to go to bed with you 20 calories Worrying they won’t be satisfied with you and might demand a second bloke to help 10 calories Working twice as hard as normal to keep them both satisfied 330 calories
TOTAL: 360 calories
74 Foreplay - kissing Foreplay - nibbling Foreplay - stimulating Foreplay - golden shower Foreplay - bondage Foreplay - S & M Foreplay - M & S Foreplay - whilst driving Foreplay - oral Foreplay - 69 Shagging - doggy style Shagging - missionary Shagging - in the car Shagging - on the car bonnet Shagging - at the movies Shagging - her on top Shagging - in a porn film Shagging - silently Shagging - noisily Shagging - a prostitute Shagging - a client Shagging - up the arse FOR HIM Extra calorific benefits of shagging Looking for the condom afterwards 20 calories Being forced to change the bedsheets before your wife comes home 50 calories Walking to the clap clinic 40 calories
TOTAL: 110 calories
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The 70s were all about the shag – and this haircut is still a favourite today. A true ‘do-it-all’ style, the 70s shag haircut adds plenty of volume with its choppy layers at the crown. You can also ask for your stylist to cut in some long bangs if you want to channel your inner Farrah Fawcett. 16. Shag Haircut with Bangs FOR HIM Shagging - noisily Thrusting as hard as possible with the aim of breaking the bed 200 calories Howling with delight at the top of your voice 10 calories Repairing the wooden slats under the bed 70 calories
TOTAL: 280 calories
60 FOR HIM Shagging - real orgasm Grunting like a pig 20 calories Shafting her like a steam piston engine until the boiler blows up 200 calories Falling asleep and snoring 5 calories
TOTAL: 225 calories
108 FOR HIM Shagging - missionary Spreading her legs 5 calories Enjoying yourself while she pretends to 75 calories Rolling over, farting, and falling asleep 5 calories
TOTAL: 85 calories
46 FOR HER Shagging - a nervous virgin Wondering why you’re bothering to go to bed with such a nerd in the first place 10 calories Intimidating him with your sexual confidence and experience 20 calories Telling him it’s quite normal to ejaculate before he’s even got his pants off 10 calories
TOTAL: 40 calories
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Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose We by Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose We by

FOR HER Negative calorific aspects of shagging Being seduced with rich food and lots of alcohol minus 600 calories Swallowing instead of spitting minus 150 calories Getting the munchies after a good hard rogering minus 300 calories
TOTAL: minus 1050 calories
115 FOR HIM Shagging - a really fat bird Helping her up the stairs into your bedroom and administering oxygen 100 calories Heaving her up onto the bed and hoping the floorboards hold 100 calories Humping her as if you’re on a bouncy castle 100 calories
TOTAL: 300 calories
90 FOR HIM Foreplay - M&S Choosing new M&S underwear 5 calories Winking at your woman to join you in the changing rooms 2 calories Realising this store doesn’t have changing rooms and being forced to have sex at home like everyone else 5 calories
TOTAL: 12 calories
37 The gypsy shag haircut is a fun and flirty style that is perfect for women who want to add some personality to their look. This style is characterized by long, loose layers that are styled in a messy fashion. You can wear your hair curly, wavy, or straight, and you can also add some light hold hairspray to the hair to keep it in place throughout the day. 12. Mullet Shag HaircutFOR HER Shagging - orgies Living out your every fantasy in the anonymity of a mass of heaving bodies 250 calories Realising with horror that you forgot to take your pill today 10 calories Narrowing the father of the baby down to just 15 possible men 40 calories
TOTAL: 300 calories
79 The shag haircut works perfectly on straight hair, too. With the layers added all over to create texture and movement, your blowout will have an effortless ‘lived-in’ vibe. If you like more defined strands, ask for long side bangs (again similar to the modern shag). And if you want to keep your hair looking shiny and sleek all day long, finish with a light-hold hairspray. 15. 70s Shag Haircut FOR HIM Foreplay - oiling Covering your body with lavender oil 10 calories Covering your woman’s body with lavender oil 20 calories Putting a towel on the bed so your sheets don’t get covered in lavender oil 5 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
28 If you’re blessed with curly hair, then the shag haircut is ideal. With cut layers added to provide definition and give shape so your curls don’t get weighed down, plus softness through the ends, you can enjoy all-day volume and bounce in an instant. If you want to enhance your curls even further, use a texturizing product likea salt spray or sea salt gel. 5. Modern Shag Haircut The messy shag haircut is a great way to add some edge to your style. This hairstyle is characterized by loose and tousled layers, which gives it a carefree and undone look. The best thing about this style is that it can be styled in minutes. Simply towel dry your hair after showering, then use your fingers to tousle and scrunch the hair until it looks messy. You can also add a bit of texturizing spray if you want to add more volume and texture. 10. French Shag Haircut